


Seraphim cradle

by vanishing_apples



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 23:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishing_apples/pseuds/vanishing_apples
Summary: He can’t cope like this. Not when after all he has done, after hurling poison-coated words at Lucifer, treating him with seething contempt, inadvertently murdering him, he is still loved.





	Seraphim cradle

Sandalphon is on the edge of his seat as Lucifer brings the cup of coffee to his lips. He watches anxiously for any facial change, any physical cues with which he may gain some idea of the supreme primarch’s thoughts. Seconds trudge by at the speed of minutes while the silence between them stretches thin, peppered with only the occasional rustling of their garden’s great trees. Relief finally washes over Sandalphon when Lucifer puts the cup down, his lips curved into a gentle, encouraging smile. 

“It’s delicious. I’m pleased to see how quickly you learn, Sandalphon.”

Sandalphon’s heart is flooded with warmth. Scratching his cheek sheepishly, the young angel does his best to give a dignified response worthy of his mentor’s flawless grace.

“It’s only because you’re such a great teacher, Lucifer.” Sandalphon keeps his gaze low but can’t help the grin from pulling at his cheeks after all. “I’m really happy too, that I managed to make it to your taste...”

The sudden weight of Lucifer’s warm, sturdy hand settling on his head startles Sandalphon to the point of almost knocking the table over. How did he manage to get so close so quickly and soundlessly? Lucifer has never been this intimate before, and the sudden contact makes Sandalphon an anxious, fidgety mess.

“You’ve done well. I’m very proud of you.”

Lucifer’s gentle words curiously trigger stabbing pain somewhere deep within Sandalphon, as if they grind at the surface of his core. And yet simultaneously, he harbours the feeling of having yearned for these exact words for millennia. They stir up a confused storm of fulfillment and agony, within which the only emotion he could put his finger upon with certainty is happiness. Happiness that spills in warm cascades from the corners of Sandalphon’s eyes. 

“What’s wrong? You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?” 

Lucifer’s voice is laden with concern at the sight of Sandalphon’s shoulder softly trembling. He gets down on one knee to gather up the smaller angel, enveloping him in a reassuring embrace of both his arms and three pairs of dawn-soaked wings. Sandalphon is at a complete loss for coherent words, his choked sobs blocking any from exiting his throat. Tumbling from his lips are but broken syllables of Lucifer’s name.

“Don’t cry, Sandalphon. I’m here now, and I will keep any harm from coming your way.”

“Lucifer…” 

Sandalphon clings onto Lucifer as a drowning man would his last lifeline. Relishing in how warm, how solid, how real the supreme primarch is within his own arms. Burying his face in Lucifer’s chest, Sandalphon endeavours to fill his lungs with each breath the other man’s scent, his own rib cage feeling like it could rupture from swelling affection. He needs to make sure that Lucifer is there, that this beloved presence is by his side and not just a vivid mirage.

Lucifer maintains his hold on Sandalphon, gently petting his back until his sobs have mostly subsided. He begins once the younger angel has completely relaxed in his arms.

“Sandalphon, you are very important to me and I would like to have you by my side always. Would you grant me that honor?”

Sandalphon almost can’t believe his own ears. He replies hastily once having recovered from the initial shock.

“Y-yes!! I would gladly follow you anywhere! Please, take me with y-”

But his words are cut off the moment he pulls away from Lucifer to get a good look at the supreme primarch’s face. Blood. Blood is everywhere - flowing out from Lucifer’s mouth in crimson streams streaked with black as if laced with tar. In panic, Sandalphon snatches Lucifer’s coffee cup from the table to have a look at its content. The sight of the coffee somehow having turned into some frothing, pungent sludge makes every fibre in his body stiffen from terror. Lucifer’s following words are partly muffled by mouthfuls of blood bubbling out from his lips.

“Come with me, Sandalphon…”

The ground beneath their feet suddenly begins to stir, tremble, then vibrate in violent tremors until its surface bursts open, forming a bottomless canyon in the middle of their garden. Sandalphon stands frozen in place but still clinging tightly to Lucifer, the liquid from whose lips is now more black than red - like the coffee that Sandalphon brewed for him but moments before. Light seems to have completely blinked out from the supreme primarch’s sapphire eyes.

“Come…” 

Despite Sandalphon’s tight hold of him, an invisible force somehow manages to wring Lucifer’s motionless body out of his arms and fling him like a discarded doll into the earth’s pitch black orifice. Sandalphon’s gut-wrenching scream bounces off the granite walls of the canyon as he makes a desperate dive in for Lucifer. 

“No… no!! No no no no… Please!, don’t leave me behind… Not again!! I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… Lucifer!!!”

But Lucifer has already been swallowed up by the void.

\---

Sandalphon’s eyelids snap open to yet more inky darkness, one that he can’t tell belongs to the bowels of the nightmarish canyon or the Grandcypher. The Lucifer in his arms but some moments ago felt just as real as the sheets suffocatingly clinging to his skin from perspiration; his warmth as solid as the tear-soaked pillow case digging into his cheek with its rough surface. He can care less to distinguish between dream and reality, not when Lucifer’s voice calling for him from some distant realm is still ringing in his ears. It’s faint and distorted, yet no less audible than the winds’ gently combing through the ship’s swaying sails outside his window. 

“Lucifer…? Lucifer…”

He tries to respond out loud to the voice beckoning his name. Sandalphon can hear it calls him back - in fragile, malformed shards scattered with grainy darkness that cling to the narrowest nooks and crannies of his room. It’s definitely reaching out to him. Lucifer is waiting for him, wherever his soul now dwells. Sandalphon panics a little from his inability to come to Lucifer’s side right now. Sweaty hands grope at the darkness as if searching for any physical manifestation of the voice, only for despair to coil its chilled tendrils around his neck when they find none. But realisation eventually dawns on him, bringing with it a solemn wave of calm. 

“I… Please wait for me. I’ll be with you shortly, Lucifer…” 

Sandalphon’s smile hides an almost manic euphoria bubbling underneath. Soft violet glow illuminates his weary features as vermillion light pours from one of his daggers beginning to take form. Having completely solidified, its radiance dances within Sandalphon’s blood-coloured irises, setting them ablaze with impatience and deluded determination. Its tip is aimed straight for Sandalphon's exposed throat. 

“Here I come.”

With a resigned smile and eyes closed, Sandalphon commands the blade to plunge towards himself at full force. 

Only for it to fizzle out of existence in a flash upon collision with brilliant white wings. Baffled by his botched self-delivery from this realm, Sandalphon slowly opens his eyes. The supreme primarch's six wings, which have failed to manifest at his will since he supposedly exhausted their power to momentarily take down Lucilius’ legacy, have flared from Sandalphon's back to envelope him in a protective cocoon of their own accord. Their brilliance floods his vision, and the voice that he now realizes to have belonged not to Lucifer but himself dissipates as thick fog melts away at the touch of dawn. 

It’s not fair. It’s not fair how even after being endowed with this cursed strength he once coveted, Sandalphon is still being protected from himself. It’s not fair how after all his grave trespasses, Lucifer still treats him with benevolence. He can’t cope like this. Not when after all he has done, after hurling poison-coated words at Lucifer, treating him with seething contempt, inadvertently murdering him, he is still loved. 

“Such cruelty to deny me retribution even now…”

The inner feathers of his six wings rustle softly as if responding to the Sandalphon’s voice, but he chalks it up to being the result of choked sobs that have gripped his entire body in newfound tremors. Sandalphon can care less when his core feels like it might fissure. 

But he barely gets the chance to succumb to grief when the wings’ insides begin to emit a dull glow, soon resembling sun-kissed clouds that ripple across the early morning sky. Their light cradles Sandalphon and drains the agony from his heart. His clouded mind goes blank, and for the first time since he boarded the Grandcypher, Sandalphon drifts into peaceful slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> The fruits of my stress-writing and much dwelling on the topic of Suicidalphon. Partly inspired by this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRQ6Wj4pqc


End file.
